


Running Away?

by Yuni30



Series: Nymph Hugs [11]
Category: Ni no Kuni
Genre: Bravery, Courage, Dreams and Nightmares, Fear, Fear of Discovery, Friendship, Gen, Good Friends, Late Night Conversations, Like siblings, Nightmares, Running Away, Two friends talking, we need more of this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-17
Updated: 2018-04-17
Packaged: 2019-04-24 05:21:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14348799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yuni30/pseuds/Yuni30
Summary: When nightmares strike, so does impromptu conversations and friend to friend bonding. Sometimes, that's all that you ever need.(This work can also be found as a drabble chapter for "Nymph Hugs" over on Fanfiction.net along with its sibling works.)





	Running Away?

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Like A Brother](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/371340) by Wherever Girl. 



> Author's Note:
> 
> We're back with the group during the events of the game! Woot! This time I wanted to write one where Swaine and Esther have a _friendly_ chat. They never really just talk to each other, it seems. I mean there is that one scene late in the game, but otherwise… yeah. They just argue like siblings…
> 
> Again, shout out to [moonbird](https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1576308/) for inspiration here- at least for the first portion. As for those of you who have been just as generous to favorite, review, comment, or- hell- even read this mess, I thank you greatly. I mean it.
> 
> Anyway, on with the show!
> 
> Disclaimer: While I may own a copy of this game and wish I owned Swaine… I don't own the rights to it or Swaine. I do own the ideas I use for my fics, though… I think.

A peaceful sleep did not find him that night. He thought the nightmares would have ceased since he joined the three since they destroyed that thing that plagued his heart. No. As it turned out, nightmares, especially his, had many sources.

He dreamed he was in a world of darkness. He wasn't alone- the two kids in the group, a young Al Mamoonian girl and a boy from another world, were there as well. They weren't standing by his side as they always did when things looked serious. Instead, they had been taken, ensnared by an unseen adversary. They were being dragged under, reaching out for help.

He froze. Part of him wanted to run away, the instinct of self-preservation screaming at him. Part of him wanted to pull the two out of danger, to pull them to safety. Part of him knew, that despite whatever choice he made, it was already too late.

He ran toward them, an overwhelming urge to protect his friends overtaking him. When he reached toward them, the blond girl was quickly dragged under. He cursed himself for being to slow. Instead, he reached for the young wizard.

He hesitated when the face he saw shifted to that of his brother's, the sage's eyes possessed by the shadows. He froze, out of shock.

 _"Why try? Just run away. That's all you're ever good for,"_ it mocked, the voice distorted. It sounded like multiple people, especially his own, speaking in unison. He grimaced, hesitating further.

When he withdrew his hand, it cackled at him. It almost sounded like an anguished cry.

"Stop it," he shouted. "Just stop!" He gripped his hair, pulling at it. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry," he repeated, backing away. The cackling grew louder. When he looked up, he found its source. Possessed faces of the two he had just tried to save as well as his own father's and brother's hovered over and surrounded him. He lowered his gaze again to avoid the horrid sight.

The cackling suddenly stopped. _"You call yourself a prince?! You're barely even a man. Coward,"_ the voices sneered.

"Just, shut up, would you! Leave me alone," he cried, falling to his knees. They roared with laughter at his suffering. He could feel them converging in on him.

"No," he shouted. "Don't-," he began to protest.

"Swaine, wake up," a familiar voice called. He found himself being shaken awake. He opened his eyes to find Esther, the blond. She sighed tiredly and rubbed an eye. "You were thrashing around and shouting in your sleep," she began to explain to him. "You woke me up."

"Huh," he found himself only able to groan. He rolled over, frowning. "Sorry. Go back to sleep," he groggily ordered despite the fear of that dream coming back to haunt him again.

"Are you okay," Esther asked the thief. "You sounded like you were having a really bad nightmare."

Silence. Perhaps he hoped she would think he fell back asleep if he didn't answer.

"D-do you want to talk about it," she prodded, seemingly wide awake now. That trick would have never worked on her. He tended to snore rather loudly when he did fall asleep.

"Go to bed, Esther," he growled, looking over his left shoulder. He knew sleeping on her side of the fire was a bad idea from the start. The other two took the other side so if any wandering creature approached they would know to alert the rest. He was left with the familiar tamer- the girl who he'd come wager as someone who'd poke a sleeping bear if it snored too loudly.

"I'm not going to bed until I _know_ what's going on, Swaine," she demanded, huffing.

He rolled over to face her quickly, scowling. "I had a nightmare. The end. Now, will you kindly: Go. To. _Sleep_ ," he snapped in a vain attempt to keep his personal dilemma quiet.

"That's the part I want to help you with, though. The nightmare," she persisted, oddly concerned about his wellbeing.

He raised an eyebrow at her. "Since when do you care? Here's a bit of knowledge you seemed to have missed, Esther: everyone has a bad dream every now and again. Everyone."

She sighed and finally returned to her sleeping bag. "Fine," she grumpily adhered, snuggling down into the purple sack. "Wake me when you need to talk."

~*~*~

An hour seemed to pass. He couldn't go back to sleep, he quickly found. He dreaded to think if what horrors would await him. He sat up and rubbed his forehead. He looked around and recalled their location. They were on No Isle of Mine, a rocky island near the shores of Autumnia. He could wander off and return by the time everyone got up. No one would miss him.

Something told him otherwise. He shook his head, closing his eyes and remained there in thought. What did it mean, he pondered. Why am I so shaken up about it? It was just a dream, he argued in his head.

He looked at the sleeping familiar tamer and considered her offer. He didn't want to disturb her… but maybe the girl was right, for once. Maybe this was something he needed to talk to someone to work out.

He crawled down to her sleeping bag and shook her awake. "Esther, hey."

She turned her head, her eyes squeezing shut even more so before they finally opened. She looked up to see a tired thief smirking down at her. "Hmm? What is it," she yawned at him.

"About that chat. I could use some help working that nightmare out after all...," he sheepishly admitted. "Sorry for pushing you away, earlier. I was just being stubborn." He looked away and rubbed the back of his neck.

She giggled and sat up, flashing him a reassuring smile. "It's alright. Tell me about this nightmare..."

~*~*~

"Oh, wow… that sounds horrifying," the blond gasped. She had her hands over her mouth and her eyes wide. "Do you think it's guilt? Of running away when… well… you know."

The man shook his head. "I'm not sure. The demon called me a coward, too…," he admitted. "And I couldn't save you or Oliver." At that, he winced and looked out to the ocean. "In the end, I couldn't even save myself." He held his hands up in front of him and looked down at them.

"Maybe you're worried you'll let us down," Esther proposed, confused herself.

"Well, now I am. If you lot get in a bind, who's to say I won't hesitate," he asked her, though it was more to himself. "Who's to say I won't just…" He threw his hands down in a fit of frustration.

"…run away," Esther finished. "But… You wouldn't. You haven't before. You've pulled through for us when we needed it so many times," she recounted, recalling countless battles where, if it hadn't been for the thief, they would have been done for.

He locked his eyes with hers for a moment. He turned his head away slowly, pensively. He sighed through his nose and closed his eyes and slowly nodded. "I know. But still…" He opened his eyes again, glancing down. "I really am a coward, Esther. I'm _always_ afraid. It wouldn't matter who I'm with, or where I'm at. I'm always going to be afraid." He shook his head, chuckling. "I don't know how you and Oliver can just plunge into danger without a single doubt in your mind. I kind of admire that, really."

Silence fell on them for a moment. Esther looked down, contemplating his words.

"You're not a coward," she stated.

His attention snapped back to her. He looked at the blonde, surprised. "I'm sorry… what did you say?"

"You. Are not. A coward," she spelled out for him. She looked up at the man with that usual headstrong look in her eye. "It takes courage still stand up and fight, even when you're afraid. A coward really would just run away. You can't be a coward!"

He let out a sigh, shaking his head. "I can't believe what I'm hearing… Esther…" He looked at the girl with an incredulous expression. "I think if you lot weren't there, I'd be running for the hills. I really do."

"Then that makes you even less of a coward, doesn't it? A coward would just abandon his friends," she argued, glaring up at Swaine.

"Hah! You're confusing courage with responsibility, aren't you?" He looked back out at sea, avoiding her glare. "I'm just doing what I think is right, that's all…" There was a tinge of disappointment and longing in his voice. He eventually turned his entire person towards the view of the distant shore, hoping to end the conversation

Another wave of silence passed over them. The sound of the sea and distant mechanical creatures moving around kept them in a soothing company.

"Then it's your sense of responsibility that gives you your courage…," she finally answered. "It gives you a reason to fight!" She placed her right hand over her heart, gripping the fabric of her top. "All of us… we all have our own reasons for enduring what we have. It's what gives us our strength, our fearlessness."

The man didn't respond. He continued to stubbornly look out at the moonlit sea.

Esther sighed, her hand loosening its grip as she looked down. "I'm… I'm always scared, too…," she divulged quietly.

The thief's eyes widened, unseen by the familiar tamer. He turned his head to glance at her. "How?"

She looked up, turning her gaze to the lanky form next to her. "Huh," was all she offered.

Turning quickly so he could directly face her he clarified, "How are you, of all people, scared? I mean, we are going up against the Dark Djinn- but honestly… You always seem so… Agh…" He shut his eyes and looked away before looking back at her. "You don't seem to worry about it at all, is what I'm trying to say." He motioned with his hand, raising an eyebrow.

"I'm… I'm actually terrified of facing the Dark Djinn," she muttered. "I'm always a little worried that we won't make it when we fight something big." She looked up, sporting a fierce strongminded expression the thief had seen many a time. "I know, though, that I can't let it get the best of me. I won't be intimidated! What kind of person would I be if I didn't at least try?"

He smirked and then laughed. "So, you're running away, too?"

The girl tilted her head, confused. "What do you mean?"

He motioned around himself, a nonchalant attitude about him. "We're both running away… _from ourselves_."

She raised an eyebrow. "'From ourselves'?" He wasn't making a bit of sense. "What does that even mean?"

"Think of it as a metaphor. We're both trying to avoid things about ourselves we don't want to acknowledge." He wasn't exactly sure if his analogy would take. Giving motivational speeches on a limited amount of sleep wasn't exactly his forte.

She paused for a moment. "But… if I'm running away from my fear, then… what are _you_ running from, Swaine?"

"There's quite a bit, really. The biggest one being my own sense of identity. I've been trying to work that one out for a while now." He collapsed down on the ground, his arms spread over his head. "Even now, I don't know who I am, Esther…" He looked up at the sky.

"You seem pretty confident in being a thief," she noted coyly.

"But I'm a prince, too. What do you make of that?" He studied the stars, admiring their beauty in the clear night sky. Swaine the pickpocket and Gascon the prince seemed sometimes polar opposites of each other. "I can't be both, you know."

"Of course you can! Just don't act like a common criminal," she suggested. "You're both the same person. And just because you happen to be a prince, that shouldn't change anything. You're still you, aren't you," she noted while leaning on her arms, bent over from her cross-legged position on her sleeping bag. "Why don't you just focus on that?"

"Am I, now? I wouldn't exactly call myself princely material, Esther, especially in my current state." He lied there in thought. I guess, though… she has a point- maybe there really is no point separating the two, now.

~*~*~

Another hour seemed to pass.

"Swaine," she started, observing the man. He had closed his eyes in silent contemplation earlier. She started to think he'd fallen asleep when he didn't answer. She sat back up, an unsure face taking over. "I'm actually kind of envious of you… I can't be my self- not really. There's probably still so much you hide from everyone, too but…" She hesitated. "Even if you aren't sure of who you are, you always seem so confident in your abilities. I'm always worried I'll mess up." She let out a nervous laugh. "I guess that's a pretty common fear. I just never felt brave enough to admit it."

"I can't just say I'm scared either like you can." The blond looked at the thief, his facial expression unchanged. "I've got to be strong, right? That means putting on a brave face, righting wrongs, and helping people, doesn't it? I-," she faltered, her words were full of doubt. "I shouldn't be scared- not of anything." She swallowed, a lump of anxiety forming in her throat.

"It's alright to be afraid, you know," a voice from beside the girl consoled. "You don't always have to be so headstrong."

She looked at Swaine. The man had his eyes closed, still. "I…," she started. There it was again, the proud attitude of a former prince.

He sat up again, massaging his temple. "Gees. What did we just talk about? You're just running away from it again." He crossed his arms, analyzing the situation. It seemed she had built this up for quite some time. He leaned forward. "Don't bottle it up… It will eventually explode, your worries, I mean," he advised softly.

She smiled, grateful for his support. "You mean like you were doing earlier," she joked, elbowing him.

He winced, holding his abdomen and leaning away. "Yeah, I'm no saint," he coughed. He looked at the giggling teen. "I wouldn't mind lending an ear, you know."

"Alright, but don't fuss if I wake you for a midnight chat," she warned, wagging a finger.

The thief huffed and rolled his eyes. "I make no promises."

~*~*~

The two couldn't go back to sleep after that. They kind of just sat in awe of the night sky and the large moon that hung overhead. For once, they sat in silent agreement with each other. When morning finally came, things finally went back to normal.

"You guys are up early," Oliver observed groggily, not noticing what was really going on for a moment. They seemed to be leaning on each other for support, the lack of sleep caught up with them. "Umm… Swaine, Esther- you two okay?"

The fairy walked in front of them and snapped his fingers in front of their content faces, unaware of the awkward position they were in. "Flippin' heck, mun. They're out like a light! No wonder they ent pushing each other away right now!"

Oliver walked over to the pair and gripped the familiar tamer's shoulder, shaking it, figuring he could survive a magic harp attack to the face better than a gunshot. "Hey, Esther. Esther, it's time to wake up."

The girl blearily opened her eyes. It took a moment for her to register where she was. She felt her cheek rub against the sleeve of the man's coat, causing her to look up slightly. She quickly woke up, straightening herself and scrambling a couple feet from Swaine. "Agh," she yelped. She punched the man she had accidentally used as a pillow.

"Ouch! Hey! What was that for," the thief snapped, instantly wide awake and rubbing his arm.

"For letting me lean on you like that!" She scowled at him.

The thief looked at her, though his focus was on what had exactly happened. He stayed silent for a moment.

"Honestly… I don't remember even turning in for the night, Esther. Do you," he wisely asked, having put the pieces together. Honestly, he thought. I have more of a thing for the ground than anyone here, considering that's where everyone usually sleeps. The hell, Esther?

The girl thought for a moment herself. She realized she didn't. "…Yeah… Sorry for jumping to such a silly conclusion, Swaine," She apologized to the rugged mess of a man who still held his arm. He looked back at the boy by now, blearily taking in an explanation of the day's plans.

"Oi, we better get goin'! Sun's already up," the fairy shouted at the group. All in agreement, they packed up camp and prepared to be whisked away by a purple dragon.

Oliver sounded the horn. As they waited, Esther nudged Swaine gently. "Hey."

"Hmm," he nonchalantly responded, not bothering to look at her.

"Thanks for the chat." It was kind of funny, in a way. She felt as if he had helped her more than she helped him.

Tengri landed in front of them and they were off, flying where the wind would take them on their adventure to save the world.

**Author's Note:**

> Tried to keep it platonic with some fluffy humor at the end. I actually don't pair those two together. Really. They really do come off as siblings that bicker more than anything to me. We need more platonic Swaine and Esther fics where they just talk or do stuff together as friends. I feel that's kind of lacking in the fanbase.
> 
> Fun fact, I actually wrote part of this staying over at a friend's place. We stayed up late and talked about stuff. She even showed me this cool comic she found! I find it funny: I think it affected how I approached this one-shot in a positive manner. Like the part where Swaine lays back on the ground while he's sitting next to Esther? Yeah. I did that a couple of times while sitting on her bed with my laptop in my lap. I took small little breaks when I found it hard to come up with reasonable reactions between these two- that's when we chatted and had fun.
> 
> In any case. Please, do review. I'd love to hear your thoughts!


End file.
